I am airily for ill business consultant.
I really am.
Fur eels.
I promise.
.............
Oh.
.........................
You're still here.
Hoping for some assurance this is no scam.
That I'm more than just a charlatan weaving illusion.
I understand.
I'm quite a firm believer that it's dangerous to go alone.
Here. Take this:
I am a business consultant. I consult for businesses.
Really really.
Cross my heart and definitely hope to die.
So, so much hope.
I digress.
I actually exist.
I have a family and everything.
I am real.
And so is my business consulting.
Definitely not fake.
No illusion here.
*holds earpiece*
*Glares stage right*
*shuffles papers and clears throat angrily*
Great. I've JUST been informed we actually DO have SOME illusion in stock. Glad they told me NOW!!!!!
*holds earpiece*
*looks stage right*
It's not "no big deal", Dave. You intentionally waited to tell me on air. It's actually quite bothersome and frankly, demeaning.
*holds earpiece*
*jumps up and yells stage right*
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THE VEIL DELIVERY CAME IN BEFORE YOU PUT ME IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA?!?!?
........
*dawning realization as looks at camera*
Which...........
....I am currently still in front of.
......Live.
And my kids are likely watching.
*awkward silence*
*looks stage left*
They already know it's awkward, Susan. You don't need to type it onto their screens.
*holds earpiece*
*looks stage right*
Oh, I'M being petty? That's the height of hilarity coming from YOU, Dave.
How about I tell the good folks at home about the time a certain Psychic Broadcasting Network producer went to Fantasy Forgery and asked them to find you a muzzled fru.....
*technical difficulties graphic*
*game show hold music plays*